Let It Out Already

There are two things many of you may not know about me. One is that I've known I wanted to write a novel since I was nine years old. Two, I've always been able to plan what I dream about when I go to sleep. The science fiction saga that I'm working on has been in my mind and on my heart since I was in high school. I know I'm telling my age here but that was some 20 plus years ago.

While in high school, during the day I was your typical student studying and preparing for college, thinking about what I wanted to major in. Somehow the thought of becoming a writer wasn't on my mind as a full-time career choice. I mean, seriously, how much money could you make doing it full time? I was ready to move out the house and be on my own, and I knew I had to pay the bills somehow. The only writing I knew of then was journalism, and I had no desire to work for a newspaper or magazine. At night when I was ready to go to sleep, I remembered where I left off in my dream and would pick up from that point. I wish back then that I had been as meticulous about writing down my ideas as I am now. My sci-fi saga was written, in my head, from beginning to end. Every detail was worked out. I knew each character's name and background. I had the intrigue detailed, and I knew how the big climactic scene played out.

Fast forward 20 some years and that story never completely left me. I didn't dream about it every night, but it did resurface occasionally to remind me, "Hey, I'm still here. When are you going to let me out?" Through several career moves (some of them really bad ones), health woes and relationships that didn't blossom, I can say with certainty I wish I had written down so much more and believed in myself, my ability and my desire to write way more than I did.

Now that I'm coming full circle and envisioning my original dream that my nine-year-old self had all those years ago, I realize that I always knew what I wanted to do. I've lost many years in which I could have honed my skills at a much younger age, when my mind and body were healthier than they are now. But, as it's said, "the past is the past. You can't change it. You can only move forward."

So, the sci-fi saga that I end up with today may not be the one that I had originally imagined more than 20 years ago, but all in all, I'm happy that I purged it from my mind, got it all out on paper and actually wrote the words, "The End."

It took many, many years and it may never get published, but I did it. I accomplished my dream of writing a novel. What's that one thing that keeps running 'round and 'round in your head that's been screaming to be let out? Let it out already.